“We need to remember what’s important in life. Friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. It doesn’t matter. But work is third.”
– Leslie Knope, “Parks and Recreation”
Burger of the Month at Kuma’s Too for January, 2014
- Maple syrup drizzle
- Waffle strips
- Applewood smoked bacon
- Sharp cheddar cheese
- Blackened fried chicken tenders
- Maple raspberry aioli
- 10 oz. beef patty
- Pretzel bun
Named after North Carolinian sludge/doom metal band, the Sourvein is the brand new January Burger of the Month over at Chicago’s finest Kuma’s Too …and, my, oh my what a joy it was to devour. I’m just going to get this one out of the way first – WAFFLES? ON A BURGER? ARE YOU KIDDING ME, KUMA’S TOO!? Amazing. Simply amazing. This creation will conquer you with the power of texture (and metal!) – crispy blackened chicken tenders, crackling applewood smoked bacon, crunchy waffle strips, soft, melted sharp cheddar cheese and a beard-destroying sludge of maple raspberry aioli and maple syrup drizzle, all sitting on the face of a 10oz. beef patty, which at medium rarity was malleable and juicy. Also – pretzel bun, because nothing else will ever do. The Sourvein was a delight to dig into and like lembas wafers was “a chewing exercise” (screw elves, though – Kuma’s policy has a thing or two to say about their hippie ways) with miraculous tummy-filling powers, which also make a mockery out of nonsensical verbiage such as breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner OR supper. With the Sourvein you’ll have no use for them, for you will eat once and be quite happy with your wise choice. The burger as a whole surprised me with the savory nature of all the meats, but what truly impressed me was the lingering, sticky sweetness of all the syrup, much like the feedback-drenched songs by Sourvein. Remember those late nights or early mornings spent at mediocre American diner, wondering what kind of cholesterol to fill your arteries with as you’re sipping on black coffee and nursing a wicked headache? The Sourvein is the answer to all of that. It’s like a decision already made for you, taking all great things from the American breakfast tradition and binding them, one greasy page after another, into the next Great American Novel. Spoilers: The plot is all about the Surgeon General fighting against a horde of shambling heart attack victims.
Additionally, now that I’ve had some experience with the Kuma’s burgers, I gotta say that the Sourvein has been the most filling burger so far, and that Kevin, my partner in bovine genocide, still refers the Sourvein burger as the best burger he has ever had… and we’ve had plenty of damn good burgers together, so that’s saying a bunch.
My burger was anticipated with a glass of Four Roses Yellow bourbon on the rocks (available ON TAP!) as my twisted equivalent of an appetizer and then enjoyed Une Année Maya Belgian IPA [7.60% ABV] ( beer by a young, flourishing Chicagoland brewery specializing in Belgian beer) -sweet, slightly citrusy, dryhopped Belgian Golden Ale, which was the recommended beer for The Sourvein.
I could see myself enjoying this burger Well Done or even more charred and in the company of a Dark Horse Brewing Company Dark Horse Raspberry Ale Fruit Beer [5.50% ABV] to try and do something spectacular with the raspberry aioli, perhaps…