SICHUAN SPICY BEEF BURGER
- x2 Sichuan beef patties
- Spicy meaty sauce
- Crispy Thai chili peppers
- Homemade Sichuan chili sauce
- Sesame seed bun
*You hear the sound of a train whistle in the distance and instinctively reach for your ticket in the depths of your pocket*
All aboard the Guangzhou Grub Gastronomy Express! We’ll be chugging along, especially since I now finally have a smartphone after a mendokusai hiatus. Tiān~aaaaa (that’s 天, Chinese for “heaven”, often uttered as the equivelent of “Oh, God!”) I missed having an amazing portable camera on a phone…
So! A good expat friend of mine whom I’ll refer to here as the “Logan Bogan” decided to leave for dear Straya to hang out with all the other convicts and dingoes, so we decided to head out to the 63 Burger & Booze in order to devour The Challenger Burger, which was something we had been meaning to do for months.
And that is when we were greeted with the dreaded Chinese concept of “méiyǒu” (没有 – “Not available” “Out of” “Do not have”). This irritating utterance is something I’ve been meaning to complain about for quite some time now, and now is a better time and place than ever. Chinese restaurants almost always seem to boast large menus and variety is never a problem most of the time.
“Daredevil” Kingpin gives Madame Gao the “méiyŏu”…
Unfortunately, it also means that many ingredients are in low quantity, so things just… run out. I’ve been to many places where my top 4 or 5 picks were méiyǒu‘d faster than a Batmobile out of Hell, and virtually no item on the menu is safe from such fate. The first time I went to one of the 63 Senses restaurants I did try to order the Sichuan Spicy Beef Burger, and then… méiyǒu.
The Logan Bogan and I tried to order The Challenger Burger, and then… méiyǒu! We literally saw them delivering the last Challenger Burger to the Chinese couple next to us, who then proceeded to split it!!!! They cut it up, dissected it most unceremoniously and didn’t even finish it!!! The fries, salad and the Coca Cola were untouched. A shame, really, especially since the Logan Bogan won’t be able to add The Challenger Burger to his list of Chinese achievements, but at least he was able to use his Aussie face of intimidation to convince the manager to give us a discount… Anyways, at least the Sichuan Spicy Beef Burger was available back then..
What’s super exciting about this outrageously photogenic devil of a burger is that it is the only Chinese themed burger I’ve seen so far, and that’s… surprising. As you can see on the picture, the Sichuan Spicy Beef Burger comes bedecked with two fresh Thai chili peppers sticking out like a Old Scratch’s horns, which would have paired well with Kuma’s Corner’s Churchburner Sriracha sauce pentagram. A match made in Hell, if you will. This burger boasts a wide array of heat in order to emulate Sichuan’s culinary tradition and its integral part in China’s spice belt. Essentially, this is the Chinese spicy Manwich, with a Sloppy Joe style meaty sauce rich in garlic, hints of minced ginger, dried and finely chopped chili peppers (seeds and all, of course), sesame, various sauces such as the salty kick of soy sauce and hoisin sauce which reinforces the meaty sauce by adding more of its ingredients, plus some starchiness. The “meaty sauce” is abundant and cascades down the pile of meat and veggies as soon as you give the SSBB a firm squeeze, so make sure to hold it just above a nice serving of fries for some hella good gravy! Underneath the patties and the sauce, the usual lettuce-tomato-onion triumvirate gives it some crunch in addition to the crispy Thai chili peppers on top. And, as if there weren’t enough chili peppers already, a generous sprinkle (more like a handful) of dried chili is intermixed with chopped scallions for extra texture which disappears inside the meaty sauce only to reemerge from its depths when you least expect it. As far as spiciness goes, I’m sure that many people will find it very hot. I found it to be perfectly spicy – punishing enough for the masochist in me, yet refined enough to let all the other flavors flourish without obscuring them into oblivion. Like all the 63 Senses burgers, this one get my recommendation, two thumbs up, and whatnot, so if you like it hot you should definitely grab this burger by the horns and see if you find it worthy.
And now I have to go there again for The Challenger Burger.
They better not give me the méiyŏu.