“I have learned to feed on treachery like meat and savor loyalty like rare wine. The terror you inspire in the ranks will serve in the place of true fidelity.”
—Vinter Raelthorne IV
Limited burger at Kuma’s Schaumburg in collaboration with Privateer Press for Adepticon 2016!
- Deep fried tomatillos
- Cayenne pepper
- Lagunitas IPA Cheddar cheese fondue
- Candied maple bacon
- BBQ pulled pork
- 10oz. beef patty
- Pretzel bun
In a surprising turn of events, Kuma’s Corner Schaumburg just teamed up with the folks from Privateer Press and just released a collab burger to satiate the hunger of all the Adepticon 2016 attendants, who get to have the beautiful, succulent Morghoul burger at 20% off if they show their valid con badges. Now, many of Kuma’s hardcore fans might think that Privateer Press, and their tabletop miniatures war game Warmahordes (what many people call the collective of their games Warmachine and Hordes) may sound like some obscure, underground hobby, some may even say “Warmahordes? That’s not metal!”, to which I’ll say “Ooooh, yes. Yes it is!”
Allow me to explain, but if you are here just to satisfy your craving for burgers and beer pairings, please feel free to scroll down to the next paragraph:
Besides being a game about a universe in which steam-punk robots fueled by magic go toe to toe with mythical beasts as their leaders channel cataclysmic forces of destruction, Warmachine is kind of known as this pretty hardcore, competitive game with a take no prisoners attitude which is summed up pretty well on the famous Page 5 of the Warmachine rulebook. With 5 simple rules of conduct starting with 1) Thou Shalt Not Whine and then ending with the awesome Play Like You’ve Got a Pair, Warmachine is about being aggressive, steamrolling your enemy AND respect.
That is where Morghoul, or Master Tormentor Morghoul comes.
A terrifying scissor-handed ninja assassin who loves to dish out pain, Morghoul epitomizes the very core of of his native Skorne, for its people know suffering and know how to hurt their enemies, because only the toughest and the deadliest deserve to be exalted. Their Greco-Roman-Persian-Asian culture is alien, violent and macabre, and they do enough shredding and facemelting to be METAL AS HELL.
And now let’s get back to our usual program: BURGERS!
From the very get go, the Morghoul burger opens up with a flurry of sweetness. The BBQ pulled pork present in every bite is succulent and candied with a thick molassesy sauce which drips a drippy mess in tandem with the medium rare beef patty. Candied maple bacon adds even more saccharine notes with a half-crunchy/half-crispy, stick-to-your-teeth consistency full of lots of caramelized flavor and smokiness from the grill, and it all gets absorbed by the pulled pork, then pulled together by a heaping pile of hot Lagunitas Brewing Co. Lagunitas IPA American IPA [6.20% IPA] cheddar cheese fondue! My favorite part of the whole meal were the deep fried tomatillos. The soft, just slightly waxy texture and consistency of a grilled a peeled pepper and full kumquat-like astringency, the tomatillos provide a nice contrast to all the sweetness. Every bite cleanses the palate, preparing it for its next foray into the sweetness that is the Morghoul burger, and then eventually the sweetness peaks out, yearning to get tagged out by the tomatillos. The sprinkling of cayenne pepper adds just a slight hint of spice that gets carried everywhere by the juicy pulled pork, then extinguished by the tomatillos, resulting in a very, very, very good burger that really came as a surprise to me. Kuma’s Corner has been my Mecca for all things burger and metal for years; to see them acknowledge one of my favorite games in one of the best ways possible is just the icing on the cake, and I’m so happy to have experienced it.
Maybe next year they’ll do Khador? Bah, we all know that the edgy Cryx and even edgier Legion are probably next. Looking at you, Terminus burger. Comes with a side of Bane Thralls. <_<
Or Thagrosh burger. Uuuugh, fml.
As per usual, Lagunitas Brewing Co. Lagunitas IPA American IPA [6.20% IPA] is more than a safe bet – it already has a slightly legendary status all over the place, so feel free to grab that. However, chances are if you’re reading this maybe you’re an out-of-towner, maybe you’re not even from the Midwest, in which case you should try some of the famous brewery staples such as Three Floyds from Indiana, or some of my favorite Chicago places – Off Color Brewing and Marz Community Brewing are some pretty safe bets.
Matter of fact, I started the night with a Marz Community Brewing Duchess De Bridgeport Sour Red Ale [5.00% ABV]. I like sours, what can I say, and the Marz guys have been cranking our sours, bottles of berliner weiss and gose at a rate that makes me wanna squee. Sours are refreshing, and clean the palate better than a boring water (and water is so much more refreshing after a snifter of a sour beer!). Just the right amounts of balance between lactic sour and strawberry sweetness, and all things considered – quite the opener for the Morghoul burger! When the burger was served, I got a Three Floyds Hopped in Half Pilsner/American Pale Lager [5.30% ABV] which despite its name is probably not the best example of Three Floyd’s hoppy miracles in a bottle, but this one goes down easy with grass, lemon and even more citrus goodness from the hops with lots of carbonation to cut the sweetness a bit, and even enough astringency to play nice with the tomatillos.